Life is Transient
I recently read a book called "The Biggest Bluff" by Maria Konnikova, a writer and scholar of human behavior. What prompted the author to research into the world of poker was her questioning on factors that constituted chance versus skill. What transpired through the pursuit was her epiphanies about life.
Under the tutelage of Erik Seidel, winner of eight World Series of Poker bracelets and a World Poker Tour title, Konnikova learned how to better read, not just her opponents but about herself; how to identify emotional triggers that got in the way of clear decision-making; and gaining a clear insight to whether luck has anything to do with winning.
Poker, much like life, is a game of incomplete information.
“There are certain things that I know, there are certain things that you know, there are certain things both of us know, but nobody has all of the information. And so it’s a game of people. It’s a game of strategy. It’s a game of deep thinking.”
At the end of the day, the author realizes that life is ruled by chance, even if we try to make the best decisions based on the amount of knowledge we acquire. There are lots of things we can control, but at the end of the day, the universe is going to have its say and there’s nothing we can do about that.
“The biggest bluff is the bluff that we have to tell ourselves that we have more control over our lives, over our destinies, over what happens to us, than we actually do.”
While reading this book, the world around me was, and still is, in a state of unrest. The COVID pandemic is still raging, many people are suffering mentally and financially, a close and beloved colleague of mine suddenly passed-away (not from COVID), and my personal issues in dealing with the sudden onset of various health matters that caught me by complete surprise, and not in a good way. All of these events left me in a state of numbness.
On Reflection
Reason for bringing up Konnikova's book is because of the life lessons she received from embarking on a journey of poker playing when she was quite disillusioned by all the negativity at that time in her life. Similarly, I believe, as human beings, we can also learn a great deal about ourselves when we spend the time to question about our lives in order to get a glimpse into what really matters to us.
Random and simultaneous occurrences forced me to slow down and reflect on things I take for granted, including what I value.
I believe the majority of the people don't really think about how fragile our lives are until bad things happen to us. We think we are in control of what happens to us, but in reality, that's far from the truth.
For most of my life, I never really paid much attention to my mental and physical faculties. After all, everything just seemed to work fine without me thinking about it. Essentially most of what makes me "Me" have been 'forgotten" and "ignored" until they are suddenly taken away. It's true that we can't presume to really understand what a mentally or physically-handicapped person really go through unless we have the exact same limitations as they have. Even if they share their stories, we can only try to imagine what it might be like.
Oftentimes little things can be easily overlooked. Some examples include our sense of taste, smell, sight, or hearing. Not having anyone of the senses can be quite detrimental when they are taken away from us. Not being able to taste the food and recognize the sweet, sour, bitter, or salty quality of something in ones mouth can be quite a traumatic experience. People generally take for granted the perfect workings of our bodies and how crucial each part, on a molecular level, needs to function at 100%, 24/7, to ensure our well-being.
Letting Go of Control and Start Being Mindful
Most people are never living in the present. I, for one, is guilty of this. People's minds tend to wander and unfortunately caught in either the future or the past as manifested through their worries, fears, anger, and regrets.
In order to appreciate our lives and all that we have, we must pay attention to the here and now, whether they are deemed as significant or insignificant. Through the practice of mindfulness, we can learn to appreciate all of the precious gifts we have been given.
Mindfulness is when one is truly in the present and in-synch with our surroundings, both mind and body. The practice of being mindful should be enjoyable without any extra effort. Our living presence is demonstrated through our senses and the connections we have with our immediate surrounding. An example is walking mindfully. Every step you take is enjoyable. Every step helps you to immerse yourself with the wonders of life, in yourself and all that's around you. Peace and joy transcends when one is mindful.
Taking mindfulness a step further is to pay closer attention to what's going on around us so that we can attain deeper knowledge and a clearer perception of a given situation. For example, as a person pays closer attention or focus on specific object, let's say a flower or a bird, one starts to become more aware of their behavior and achieve a deeper insight.
Suppose someone offered you a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice. If your mind is distracted, you wouldn't notice how fresh and delicious it tastes. Additionally, you wouldn't realize the time and attention someone had gone into the prepare this juice for you. You have to be mindful of the juice and the person who served it to you. When you pay closer attention and being mindful, a simple glass of juice can reveal its value and wonder to you. When one's mindfulness and concentration are powerful, their insight will be liberated from the negativity and bring true peace, joy and happiness.
Practicing Mindfulness with Meditation (Coming soon...)
Love, Kindness and Being at Peace with Oneself
Mindfulness leads to personal discovery.
Nelson Mandela once said "I never lose. I either win or learn a new lesson.”
People who do not make mistakes are the ones who deceive themselves and regrettably stunt their spiritual growth.
Being human is to recognize our failings and to learn from our past mistakes. As long as I spend the time to reflect and am learn to become a better person, one who is mindful and not critical, that's a step towards holding on to what truly matters.
And what truly matters to me is love - loving one another unconditionally. I personally experienced this from my own parents who anxiously waited hours for my return home. It occurred during the evening as I had forgotten to let them know of where I was. When I finally got back, they were just overjoyed. No harsh words were uttered but a genuine display of relief and love. Thinking about it brought me to tears.
Who other than one's own parents would exhibit such unconditional love and kindness? God. By learning from the wisdom of gospels, we are able to become more mindful and gracious. As said in the bible verses Micah 7:18 “Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love.” and Colossians 3:14 "...And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
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