I am not a trained expert in human behavior but the subject of one's true nature and authenticity fascinates me. After all, I often question that about myself.
The recent social and political unrests forced me to re-examine who I am, what I value and the causes I care about. One thing I do know for certain is that we are living in a very broken world and even though we have various constitutional rights in a democratic society, a small group of the very wealthy and politically powerful people actually make most of the decisions, control the mass media and manipulate our thinking, which over time shape how we view ourselves, including our self-worth and how to compare to others.
The Psychological Chains that Bind Us
Paraphrasing psychologists Barry and Janae Weinholds, the false self is an artificial persona that people create to protect themselves from re-experiencing past trauma, shock and stress in relationships.
"The false self will always worship and serve the created order through the idolatry of possessions, positions, and people. These idols are cruel taskmasters, and their service is burdensome." ~ from Theologian Dr. Kenneth Boa
This false "public" self is how we want others to perceive us and usually appears polite and well-mannered; it's a deliberate act. Internally, a display of forced pretense causes people to feel empty and strained, unable to be spontaneous and free. Some have become habitual pretenders that they are unable to show their true self in any part of their lives. They have utterly and completely lost their true identity.
Reflect and Redirect - A Self Discovery
We all encounter the world’s brokenness in different ways. In order to break free from this imaginary shackle, I have often reflect on my personal values and reflect on incidents that had taken place in the past and their effect on me. What I have uncovered is that the way I want the world to see me is partly a defense mechanism to deflect the possible ridicule and hurt which others may inflict upon me.
Not matter where people are, the pressure to be accepted has always plagued many. Due to the vast difference with our life circumstances or experiences, we often lack a clear and deep understanding toward others who are unlike us, and create a vast divide and brokenness resulted from our inability to empathize and love one another.
Lack of Positive Role Models
We learn by example. I believe having good role models in life is an essential part of human development. Some are fortunate to have very loving, positive and encouraging people around them while growing up but most situations are not perfect. After all, most of us are the product of an imperfect upbringing. In order to nip the bud of such negativity which not only hurt ourselves but also others, we need to change our behaviors and perception and be mindful of our own actions and how we deal with situations.
Rather than finger-point and blaming the world and others for our own failures or misery, a primary criteria of being a mature adult is to be responsible for one's own life and decisions. In order to steer away from the world's disorder and corruption, we must decide to be consciously free from falsehood and do what is morally righteous.
Since we are surrounding by brokenness fueled by our distrust from the actions of leading, powerful figures, how do we find the truth?
Although there are many kind and loving people that have touched other people's lives and we can appreciate and learn from their good deeds; however, it's very hard to find someone who is 100% flawless. Frankly, I am not even sure if such person exists.
Therefore, where else can we turn to? Major religions are what comes to mind because the core value in most of the religious faiths is about love and compassion, which constitutes the basic aspect of human nature and the foundation of happiness.
The Truth Shall Set You Free
Being honest with oneself, loving and helping others are the fundamental principals of faith.
There are many religious figures that have withstood the test of time - Names like Jesus of Nazareth, Gautama Buddha, Mohammed of Mecca, Zoroaster, Krishna, and more. I don't pretend to know much about a particular religious faith but finding a time-honored religious person to model after seems much more plausible than trying to locate a perfect worldly figure. Some people are fortunate enough to have very positive role models in their lives but that can be like hunting for a needle in a haystack.
In the Christina faith, scriptures in the Bible gives accounts of Jesus of Nazareth's life and teachings, which serve as the moral compass and guiding principals for all Christians to follow. Jesus, the son of God in human form, personifies the perfect role model. The Gospels of Jesus provide meanings and purposes for those who believe and follow in his teachings.
What makes Jesus of Nazareth such a profound religious figure and a perfect role model is that one would have a hard time trying to find any fault with Him. He is respected and revered not because of His material possession but because of character, actions and deeds. Many famous people have quoted the following:
The choices you make become your habits, your habits become your values and your values become your character
What's also helpful is that the scriptures in the Bible are readily accessible to all via the internet and free on mobile apps.
Progressing Towards The True Inner Self
My intention for writing this blog is not to preach about religion. Questioning who I am and the meaning of life was the starting point. Somehow my quest in trying to discover myself led me down this path.
I am under no illusion about being perfect. However, during my self-discovery process, I realized that finding a good role model is really difficult, let alone one that is compassionate, loving, upright and blameless like Jesus. His teachings sparked the need for an continuous reflection of my thoughts and behaviors including the changes that need to happen in order to be my authentic self.
As the uncertainties with COVID-19 virus continues to unravel and forces people to remain vigilant, there's no better time for self-contemplation and renewal.
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